The Squirrels Reflect on Another Great Week
To say all of us squirrels went nuts would be quite an understatement! And by nuts we mean the crazy, happy, holy shit, kind of nuts (not the real nuts we had to let Jerry in Legal go for last week after it became apparent he was hiding cashews in a compartment he’d chewed into the wall behind the water cooler).
Why did we go nuts? Because we here at Chris Tarry headquarters (which as you know is staffed by a group of highly intelligent squirrels) got word that Chris’ album Rest of the Story was nominated for two Juno awards!
Boy, were we ever excited. Cindy in Dispatch made Chris a chocolate cake with these cute pink-icing squirrel paws on top, and Frank in Accounting got a few of us together to make a card using paper from around the office that didn’t have the corners chewed off.
Stanley in Sales (who was on loan from our Australian office due to a recent staff shortage) wanted to know what a Juno was. “It’s like a Canadian Grammy,” I said, and then someone made a joke and yelled, “Crammy!” which, I admit, was pretty funny, but ol’ Stanley thought they’d said “cranberry” and cranberries are like crack to squirrels so you can imagine how long it took us to calm him down.
“What categories was he nominated in?” a few of the squirrels wanted to know. “Best Contemporary Jazz album and Best CD Packaging,” I said, and everyone started to clap, which didn’t really sound like clapping at all, more like a bunch of tiny cats trying to escape from a room.
Just as everyone started to calm down the phone rang with news that Chris would be touring the Canadian jazz festivals this year. Summer (the squirrel not the season) in Publicity (who is, btw, the hottest squirrel in the office), suggested a possible pin up calendar that featured female squirrels as a way to promote the tour. Summer said she’d be in it and that she’d be willing to wear nothing but the fur she was born in. Dennis in Logistics practically fell out of his chair.
“People, people,” I said. “Let’s not get carried away, touring season is still a ways off. There’s plenty of time to come up with good ideas.” And that’s when Lenny in Inventory raised his hand and let everyone know that we were almost out of Books. “You mean Rest of the Story books?” I asked, and Lenny wiggled his whiskers (which to us squirrels means yes), and said that after the books sold out, Rest of the Story would be reprinted as a normal CD as opposed to the super-cool book of short stories and music combination it was now. “Well then,” I said, looking at Summer who was now sitting in Dennis’ lap. “Let’s get the word out. Get them while they’re still available!”
Summer scurried over to her desk and picked up the phone. “Get me Mark Zuckerberg ,” she said, and because we’d had such a great week, the rest of us just kind of stood there to see what would happen next.